Recipe for Masta ar Himba Tuima ar Yaave Apsa

Scott Williams, a friend and coworker of mine, suggested that I conduct the following online identity management experiment: Being aware of the other Michael Mina, a.k.a. chef Michael Mina, Scott suggested that I post one of my own recipes to my blog and observe any changes in the number and geographic distribution of my visitors.

The problem? I have no culinary skills. Frankly, I can barely make oatmeal to my own satisfaction. (I don't feel too bad about that--after all, chef Michael Mina is not known for his fiction).

Scott suggested that I use my recipe for a peanut butter sandwich. His insight was amazing, because when it comes to peanut butter sandwiches, I wield the knife with consummate skill. Here, then, is my own recipe for my favorite peanut butter sandwich, with a speculative fiction twist:

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Fiction writer Michael Mina's recipe for
Masta ar Himba Tuima ar Yaave Apsa *
(Peanut Butter and Grape Jam Sandwich)
Note: this is NOT a recipe by chef Michael Mina

Serves 1

Ingredients:
2 slices of wheat bread
2 tablespoons Smuckers Natural Peanut Butter (creamy)
2 tablespoons Smuckers Concord Grape Jam

Toast the two slices of bread between light and medium. Spread the peanut butter on one slice. Spread the jam on the other. Press the two slices of bread together so that the peanut butter on one slice touches the jam on the other slice, and serve.
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Keep in mind that this is a serious posting that really has nothing to do with peanut butter sandwiches, and everything to do with online identity management. As I gather any information about changes in the number and geographic distribution of my visitors, I will post updates.

By the way, I don't work for Smuckers, but I understand that it is considered one of the best companies to work for.

If you want real recipes, i.e., recipes from chef Michael Mina, you can find them here and here.

* As a Lord of the Rings fan, this is my best English to Elvish (Sindarin) translation for peanut butter and grape jam sandwich. I think it means "bread and sticky sprout and cooked fruit." That's the best I could do (see http://www.geocities.com/elfgirl06/ElvenTranslator.html). If you can do better, then please leave a comment or email me. You can learn more at the Wikipedia entry for Sindarin.

P.S.: As a Star Trek fan, I have to confess that I first tried to translate this into Klingon, but couldn't find the words even when using some of the online Klingon translators. If you can translate "Peanut Butter and Grape Jam Sandwich" into Klingon (not Klingonaase), then please leave a comment or email me.

P.P.S.: Yes, I do have a life.